1/22/04 by philh

I had hoped that my first article posted on webdisaster.net would be a think-piece about the plight of potato farmers in Ireland, but I'll have to save that for another day

Instead, it is about why you should not save lives by keeping your own blood in your own body.

Here are the reasons:

1. Sleeping never ends when you are without some of your blood. It is comparable to drinking a bottle of NyQuil and watching a documentary about the Crimean War.

2. Your secretary at work will give you a wake-up call and insists that you are late for work because you have a hangover or a harem of women in your bed.

3. When you arrive at work, the front door has a full-color poster taped to it, reading, "Welcome to school today, Mr. Hamil. We are glad you finally decided to make it!"

4. The children in your class are diligently working on their assignments when you arrive and have already assigned more work for themselves, thus proving that you are really an unnecessary portion of their education.

5. Everyone including the lunch ladies, janitor and UPS man stop by your room to remind you how late you were for work.

I urge you to please think about yourself first. Think about your livelyhood and the people that depend on you before you give blood. You may save one person's life, but the whole world will laugh at you. I'm tired now and am going back to bed.