2/11/04 by philh

In the education profession, one must obtain the highest expectations for themselves as well as their students. The following is a collection of actual quotes from students and responses from your's truly:

Student A: "What are we playing for P.E. today?"
Teacher: "A nice game of stand there and let me kick you in the face."

Student B: "I think mollusks and annelids both have a mouth and an anus, therefore that is how they are both similar."
Teacher: "I have a mouth and an anus as well, but that doesn't make me a clam or a worm."

Student C: "Should I be scared of a nuclear bomb?"
Teacher: "No, it is not painful when you become vaporized and any left over ashes from your body hit the ground."

Student D: "I don't really like to run for exercise."
Teacher: "When you are smoking a cigarette in your yard after school and see me driving past your house, you sure run fast to the back of the house. Now pretend you have a smoke and I'm in my car and start running."

Student E: "I just get in a hurry to finish my work or don't feel like finishing it."
Teacher: "I hope you aren't my brain surgeon or airline pilot someday. Now get to work."

Student F: "I want to be a singer or a baseball player when I grow up."
Teacher: "That's great. I wish I was an astronaut or a fireman. Come up with a plan B and stick to that one instead."